Toward the end of 2019, I had begun to have recurring thoughts of driving my car into a tree. To have a thought like that out of the blue? Well, that’s one thing, but to have it every time I got behind the wheel of my car? That’s another thing entirely.  I knew based on that thought and that thought alone that things were not ok.

I really didn’t know how bad my anxiety was until I found myself driving and looking at trees thinking “just a little turn of the wheel and it could all be over”. I had been running on fumes. Pushing to hard, my senses and my thoughts racing almost all the time. My heart rate was almost always pounding and towards the end, I was just completely burnt out and I had nothing left… my story with anxiety kind of sucks… but this song is a lot less sucks and I’m glad it exists.

I was fourteen or fifteen years old when a doctor recommended that I go to rehab. Back then I had only ever really heard of that for junkies or for old people who lived in parks. I thought that you got locked in a room until you ‘dried out’.  I was in my mid teens and that to me was ridiculous. Yes, I had a drinking problem but I didn’t drink every day (even if I did think about it). I was seventeen when I realised that I was an alcoholic but in my mind my drinking was still normal and my life was manageable (no it wasn’t).