Why do we abandon ourselves for love?

I grew up thinking that in order to be loved, be loveable or worthy of love I had to hustle. For healthy connection I needed to fix everything first. I couldn't rock the boat. That never ended well. I had to measure up, do what made everyone else happy and fix all the problems. Then maybe there’d be peace. Maybe there’d be happiness. It didn’t work - so I’m entirely unsure how that mentality made it into my adult life.