Guys Like You
I wrote this song a few years ago after I had found out a friend was experiencing domestic violence. I had witnessed enough violence as a child (cut a long story extremely short it was not unusual for 12 year old Michelle to have to run to a neighbours house in the middle of the night to call the police), and I had had my own experiences with domestic violence as a young adult - when you grow up around it it effects your filters and your ability to notice red flags. What other people thing of as unspeakable, on some level is almost normal. After hearing of my friends story all I had inside of me was this screaming voice ‘LEAVE’. I didn’t quite know what to do with it. You can’t tell another person what to do, or make their decisions for them and whether they stay or go sometimes you just have to be there on the periphery encouraging and supporting but not judging.
For me I took the circumstance and I wrote the song based around an amalgamation of some of my own stories. I have a colourful past and some god-awful stories I still don’t know if I am ready to tell. One day I might but writing this song was enough for now. The song is about finding your strength. It’s about moving on from circumstances that aren’t healthy. It doesn’t necessarily mean just violence either… lying, cheating, stealing and abuse itself is all unhealthy, toxic behaviour that does not constitute a healthy relationship. Sometimes the only absolute way to ensure you don’t have a toxic relationship is to not have a toxic relationship.
I believe we all deserve healthy relationships. I believe that anything less than healthy warrants leaving or at the very least getting professional help. That doesn’t mean you throw away anything difficult. I just think that sometimes the safest, healthiest thing to do for everyone involved is to love someone from a distance. You don't have to hate someone to leave. Sometimes it’s in the leaving that says ‘hey, you really need help and I can’t be with you until you get some’.
I believe we all need help at some point. God knows I’ve needed a lot of it over the years. I can’t imagine where I would be if I didn’t have counselling, therapy, access to psychologist and mentors and pastors and amazing community. I certainly wouldn’t be happy and healthy which I feel very incredibly blessed to be.
If you need help, please get it. Don’t wait for things to turn horrific - if things are difficult get help. If things aren’t 100% get help. There is nothing to lose by getting help and so so much to gain.
If you are in need of advice or help when it comes to domestic or family violence please call 1800 737 732 (or 1800RESPECT). Or visit the website https://www.1800respect.org.au
What I’m hoping comes from this song is that anyone who feels like they’re trapped, or feels like they can’t do any better or feels like if they leave that no one else will ever love them or that they won’t be ok, I hope that this song is a reminder that you will be ok. Find your tribe, reach out to your friends and family and get out. The line sums it up; girls like me will be just fine when girls like me leave behind guys like you. The same principle applies for men in the same situation.
‘Guys Like You’ is available now on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and Bandcamp.