I grew up thinking that in order to be loved, be loveable or worthy of love I had to hustle. For healthy connection I needed to fix everything first. I couldn't rock the boat. That never ended well. I had to measure up, do what made everyone else happy and fix all the problems. Then maybe there’d be peace. Maybe there’d be happiness. It didn’t work - so I’m entirely unsure how that mentality made it into my adult life.

It’s been over a year and a half since my marriage ended. Twenty months if you want to be precise. In that time there’s been bushfires, a pandemic, I’ve moved house twice, changed jobs, started a business, released three radio singles, two film clips, a video series and an acoustic album (and written over fifty songs). I’m still grieving.

I wrote this song around eight years ago after I had found out a friend was experiencing domestic violence.

I wrote the song based around an amalgamation of some of my own stories. I have a colourful past and some god-awful stories I still don’t know if I am ready to tell. One day I might but writing this song was enough for now. The song is about finding your strength. It’s about moving on from circumstances that aren’t healthy. It doesn’t necessarily mean just violence either… lying, cheating, stealing and abuse itself is all unhealthy, toxic behaviour that does not constitute a healthy relationship. Sometimes the only absolute way to ensure you don’t have a toxic relationship is to not have a toxic relationship.

The more we have to do with people, the more likely it is that someone will say something that hurts our feelings, or offends us or upsets us. So how do we get strong enough to not be so hurt?